June 2009
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Hi Taufiq,

I am glad to read about ur post. Well...im still confused right now and i dun know what should i do. At first i thought that im dead once again but after reading ur post, I feel better. Taufiq, i dont mean to hurt u. I dun mean to hurt my own heart and soul. Please understand my situation ok. I dun know what is the best for me. I never know what future lies in me. I learn to accept things that never happen which i really want to happen. I just dont believe in love anymore. Love is just a feeling. Its true there is nothing without love. But i can survive without love. In fact, i just lied to make me feel better.

It very difficult for me to face the fact. I did have many chances but im lost. Did i throw my chance? Did i treat it very lightly? I dont even know what am i supposed to do because she is the 1st girl i ever chase for. And she will be the last girl that i chased for. And now...Spoof...Everything has gone in a blink. I know that its near impossible to get her love at first but i never give up. But now, im betraying myself. She managed to read my heart and turn over the pages gently. However, she just tore another precious pages of mine. And i know i at level 0 to win her heart. This is because i am not sure what should i do to win her heart. I did follow what she said. Slowly. Time is always there. But, err...ah its ok....

So for now, im as good as dead. Love revived me yet love killed me. Well taufiq, i dont even understand why u still have got the guts to cheer me up...as if nothing happens, all hopes are still there, all chances are still there. As i said, i wont give up. But, if she really cant get my love...till my last hope...what should i do...Man im very lost in confusion. And i have lost all sense of direction. So shall i make my own conclusion? To stay out of this attention? To make my own correction? And realise my own judgement? And for love forsaken...Shall i leave the word in forbidden...

Its like a, whirlind that destroy all my faiths...
Its like a, hurricane that push all my hopes....
Its like a, paranoid that struck in within...
Its like a face inside that lies behind my life...

From Taufiq