June 2009
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010

Well, everyone cant escapes from their very own sin and mistakes. Even a human never fails to bite his/her own tongue. In life, mistakes are meant to improve a human life.
Since everyone makes mistake, no one is perfect. Since no one is perfect, everyone makes mistake. What should one do when he/she has make mistakes. It is so simple and easy. Learn from it. Make sure it will never be repeated once more. Think how to improve one self.

Life is a roller-coaster. There are ups and downs. Many feelings to describe before, during and after the ride. Thrilling, frightening, fun, excitement and many more. Ask yourself. Which part of feeling is now currently exist in your life. Where you stand, how you gonna face it, what must you do. Start to think about your future. Forget about your past. Face you present. Don't ever give up as there will be no future, thus, history will be the future. Challenge yourself and prove your own mistakes wrong. Find back your spirit. Get back your courage. Shine back your life.

There is always a victory and achievement when you get your goals in life. Before you achieve it, you must dream of it. A dream is a mirror that lies in you. You cant see it but only your heart can. Once you stop to dream, you are as bad as shattering the precious mirror into pieces. Once you break it, its up to you to fix it. Otherwise, you will never win in your life. As for me, I believe in it. I am fixing back my very own precious mirror. No one can help me except my own soul in me. My spirit show me the way. My courage support me from every side of me. My life helps me shine myself. Thus, I know that I am fixing my dreams and it is healing. It may not be a speed recovery but time is always there. NO MATTER WHAT, I SHALL NOT GIVE UP. Because this is my life. Because this is my future. BECAUSE THIS IS ME. A GUY WHO NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND THE 2 WORDS....GIVE UP...

I have my own dreams. I have my own beliefs. I have my own life. I HAVE MY OWN-SELF

TT IS BACK.....II SHALL SEE.....

Hais...I edit I MISS MY LIFE to this new post. I shall forget my past, face my present and think of my future. Thinking of my past make me angry and once Im angry i will hurt people's heart. Thus, I dun miss my life...

Yesterday I went gym with Khairiah. She taught me and lead me all the gym training machines. She is a great gym trainer perhaps. I need train my arms well. We had a great time working out our muscles till 3 p.m. I need to train my arms more. Then, we went to qiji but no seat. So, we moved our way to food culture. I ate chicken rice with her. We had a very great time talking with each other. Well....Cracking jokes here and there...Time, 4 p.m. She took 72 while I took 28 to II house...

As per normal, taught nurish piano. She can play we are the world but without chords. Hmm.....I have to admit that coordinating chords and the melodic keys is not easy... VERY NOT EASY...After her lesson, I taught and helped her completed all her homework, maths and Malay composition. We had a very great and funny time giving out funny ideas in the composition... HEHEHEHEHEHE.....However, its done. Haaaaaa....so happy. She can have a very good rest in the weekends. Then, helped boy with his homework, Malay composition and maths. So coincidence that both of them had same subject of homework. HAHAHA

Then, Nureel came back home with her NCDCC uniform. She had a bath and joined us in the coffee table and did her work. We spent our time joking around and study. However my heart told me that some very precious thing was missing...II....
She had a very long long day and she reached home at night...II....why must u be not around at home when i really want to see you...But its ok...I still can see her in the morning..
Ok peeps...I need to go for my soccer match with my long lost brothez...Miss them soo much..sobs...

II.....cheer up for TT.... =)

Last Saturday, II had guitar ensemble competition. SRJC. I was waiting for her school until it had been announced. The last two school. Finally. Cant really see her play but its okay.Supported her school. AWAKKKKKKKKKKKK....IM so BANNGA of you =)...

Then...after that, she k.o. in the car..Poor her.....At night something happenla...

AWAK,
Jangan stress stress tau...Jangan kasih saya worried about u lagi tau...However, Ur problem is my problem okay. Do call me kalau awak ada masalah. Sayang...Smile macam gini... (^_^) .. hehe

II....TT worried about you baby... (+_+) ...

Last Tuesday, my heart was beating freaking fast..my friend text me the result have been released. Without any hesitation, i online and check my result. I was sooo nervous and scared as i knew i cant make it for math, must stay back and repeat next sem. Thank god...no fail..ALHAMDULILLAH...When i first saw my result, i checked if i got f...but no f...Then, i checked my math and i got d....just pass..wohooo...

I shouted and screamed like nobody business and make noise pollution. SO what. I passed my exams....especially math that i cock up like one idiot freak that dont know math at all....Then, I told my family about it and they all thank god and congratulate me. VICTORY....YEAH...Of course, not to forget someone that give back my life before my exams...II...Thank you soooo much!!!! Glad you existed in my life before my exams. You are the one that cheered me up. You are the one that give me courage and teach me never give up...Thank you many of the many II...one day I shall treat you whatever you wish to eat as i know u deserve it.

Later in the afternoon, I went to her house to teach Nurish on piano and Nureel on chemistry. I am a multi-talented as well as multi-tasked guy. I am a music teacher and a tuition teacher. I can play many kinds of instrument. Im not showing off but THIS IS ME...Taught Nurish piano. Im glad she is a fast learner. However, her fingers are small thus many problems she faced but its ok. People grow fast. But not really. II fingers are small but..Haix..Its ok. There is a girl with the age of 5 and she is a professional pianist. Eventually, the size of her fingers does not matter. Taught her basic,basic and BASIC....I was not feeling well that time. Having sore-throat and I felt that my body was shivering as if i had a cold. Then, her mum prepared me hot tea and sandwiches which II prepared it for me early in that morning.

II reached home while I was busy teaching Nurish piano. I told her to greet and salam her kak from school and she did it..so proud of her...I continued teaching her piano and basic. Then, she wanted me to play we are the world. So i played that song. Out of the kithcen, II wanted me to teach her that. Of course its a no problem for me to teach her, her family and anyone as long they are willing to learn and play...

Lastly, I taught Nureel chemistry while II studied math (intergration) and Nurish did her English close passage. FUNNY LA ADIK NURISH..FUNNY LA NUREEL..FUNNY LA II.. And I drank the hot tea from the cup of urs...II...hehehe...Love ur happy family..

Be Cheerful always II and family....=)

Yesterday, this was what happened...My small sis really want to see II badly. She keep on asking me to follow me send her to school. Hmmmm since she got no school, I let her follow. By the way, that was her 1st time seeing miss II. Then, I made II kaya bread. While I was spreading the kaya to the bread, my eyes were tightly closed. SO SLEEPY. YAWN, yawn and yawn.....

I reached our usual meeting place with my sis at around 6.20 a.m. Then, there she was. She talked with my sis as if they had met long time ago. Then as the bus reached, we entered it and sat on the very last seat. She and my sis did not stop talking.. SIGH..I cant take it anymore...I just leaned my head on the window and slept. I heard them giggle among themselves..Maybe they were making fun of me or whatever..I dont care..their business not mine..then i continued zzz....

As the bus reached her usual stop, I carried her bag and sent her to school with my sis. I told my sis to salam her to show respect to the elder one. Then we took 81, fucked up bus. So freaking long to reach tampines interchange. In the middle of expressway, got traffic jam. A car knocked a dog down. I never realize it as i was dead zzz while my sis saw it. ARGH...damn it. The fucked up piece of TOOOT was jerking and made me dizzy. Then after it had passed the traffic jam, i forced myself to stay awake so i wont knock my head to the window due to the stupid sharp corner.

Few years later, the bus reached tampines interchange and i was freaking sleepy and tired but......ah....its ok...

Apa ertinya cinta? Cinta adalah perasaan kasih sayang yang wujud dalam setiap insan. Setiap insan menyayangi seseorang yang dikasihinya. Seperti cinta terhadap ayah dan ibu dengan kandungan anak mereka, cinta terhadap seorang lelaki dan seorang wanita dan juga cinta terhadap suadara mara, jiran tetangga dan sahabat handai.

Cinta antara ibu dan abahku terhadapku memang mulia dengan sifat kasih sayang yang tiada kekurangan. Mereka mencintai ku dan aku mencintai mereka. Cinta terhadap kakak aku dan adikku terhadapku memang sama rata dan tidak berbelah bagi. Aku cinta dengan mereka. Cinta terhadap saudara mara, jiran tetangga dan sahabat handaiku memang erat kerana sikap muliaku yang peramah dan berendah diri.

Aku tidak kekurangan dengan dengan segala cinta kecuali cinta antara aku dengan teman gadis.Ini kerana aku telah putus cinta. Perasaan yang amat menderita dan hati yang telah musnah. Putus cinta kerana terpaksa dan dipaksa telahpun aku jamah. Putus cinta kerana kehilangan rasa cinta juga telah aku lalui dengan perasaan yang amat hiba dan memilukan. Sebelum bercinta, segala perkataan manis terkeluar dari mulut. Selepas bercinta, perkataan manis tidak wujud lagi, mengakibatkan kekurangan kasih sayang dalam hati. Kerana inilah, cinta tidak wujud lagi dan putus cinta kerap berlaku.

Walaubagaimanapun, aku tidak akan putus harapan dan mengaku kalah dalam soal cinta. Cinta ku kepadamu akan ku bawa mati. Cinta ku terhadapmu akan ku simpan di hati. Cintaku untukmu akan ku pertahankan walau sebanyak cabaran dan halangan yang menanti. Kanku memberi diriku penuh semangat untuk berdepan dengan segala pancaroba bersamamu. Kanku memberi segala harapan untuk bercinta denganmu. Kanku tidak berputus asa untuk mendapat cintamu. Kanku melindungimu dari segala musuhmu. Kanku memelukmu untuk mempertahankan dirimu. Kanku mencium dahimu untuk menunjukkan kasih sayang dan cinta kepadamu. Kanku memimpin tanganmu supaya tidak kehilanganmu. Kanku membina masjid dan istana hanyala untukmu. KANKU MELAFAZKAN CINTAKU KEPADAMU....
HANYA MASA YANG KU NANTI. HANYA CINTAMU YANG KU PASTI.

Insyallah..Tuhan kabulkan apa kehendakku yang selama ini tersembunyi di dalam sanubari pada suatu hari nanti. Insyallah. Hanya yang maha esa sahaja yang tahu...

Masa: 10.57 p.m.
Tarikh: 22/03/10
Dari: TT dengan penuh ikhlas dalam hati tanpa mendapat balas
Kepada: II yang inginku menanti mu

By the way I never blog quite a time because my stupid msn virus spoil my mood..and I have uninstall my msn then hafiz told me dont re-install till he said so. Haiz....

The new beginning. The new day. The new life. The new love. Its the beginning of my love to her. Even I am not ready to have a girlfriend, i can tell it is a healthy relation that we are forming. Don't be kpo and ask me why because i hate stalkers. I fucking hate them. At first we were strangers. On that night itself we developed our friendship. Later, we strengthened our friendship. Then, I developed a 'family' relationship with her happy family. And now, I am building a relationship with her.

Today, i sent her to school. I MISSED HER BADLY . Then we sat on our no more emo corner but lalaland corner...hehe...I made for her bread with butter and sprinkle of sugar. One of my favorite early breakfast. Then, we spent our very very very sweet but non diabetic time on the bus. HAAAAAA....Lega hati aku dapat lepaskan rindu padanya...HAAAAAA. I showed her Adik Nurish soo random messaging me. HAHA...soo cute of her..LOve u many many ADIK...Then, I whacked her head for not listening to me. Slept late and formed red eye. HAIS...

As we were on our sweet journey, she rest her head on my shoulder and hugged my hand. Thus, I rest my head on her head. HAAAA...finally got to spend my time that was for a while yet sweet,precious and lovely with her. I told her what happened when i was at her home and she was not there as she had guitar camp. Then I told her that I am afraid about Nureel as she treats her homework and chemistry not serious as she really hate it and she follows her friends because she was not alone. Then I also told her that no matter wat, Im gonna help all her siblings.

Enough talk. My mind was dead so as my eyes. SOO SLEEPY...so did she. Then we have a rest and nap throughout the remaining precious journey. She slept so comfortable with me next to her and a her head on my shoulder, while her hands hugged my left hand tight. I want to sleep but i cant because as a guy, i must protect her from anything and I was her bodyguard. Watching her peaceful sleep in comfort very next to me, I knew how tired and sleepy she was. She need to sacrifice almost everything including time to study for her major exams in about 9 more months. As she was sleeping, I KISSED HER HEAD WITH FULL OF MY CARE AND CONCERNED TO HER. I don't want to lose her. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER. I had enough of losing a girl in my life. I closed my eyes, opened up my heart, move my mouth to her head and kissed her. Hope she won't know about it as she was sleeping tightly.GRR...1 more stop to reach. I slowly woke her up and she continued sleeping. In my heart, i always hope it was an endless journey but sadly no..HUHUHU =(

I carried her bag and sent her to school till the traffic light. I had enough of taking 81 as I will knocked my head hard against the window when the stupid sharp corner on the stupid expressway. I STILL MISS HER..HUHUHUHUHU.....SOBS TO THE MAX. However, the short moment of spending time with her together in the bus was precious and lovely and very meaningful to me.....and SHE NOTICED I KISSED HER HEAD....AHHHHHHHHHH PAISEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY....
I TOT SHE WAS ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUT SHE NOTICED IT.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

CIK ROHAYA and CIK ISMAIL...I LOVE U...MUAX...
On tuesday I was waiting for the bus 28 and it was raining heavily. I waited for the bus alone. Suddenly my phone vibrated and I was wondering who called me. I CANT BELIEVED IT WAS CIK ROHAYA....She and her hubby on her way to fetch me. I was soo surprised. WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh My God. The car was soo COOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL... Automatic door. WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! I was soo clumsy that i thought the door sensed my hand so it open. Then, I forced myself to close the door but...i cant... SILLY ME>>>>>HEHE<<<<< Then the door closed by itself and i was like WWWOOOWWWW...

I conquered all the seat...hehe and i sat on the center of the 8 seater car...
WWWOOOOHHHOOOO

As i reached the sheltered pickup passengers, the door opened by itself..hehe... I and Cik Rohaya walked together while Cik Ismail was parking his car. As we about to enter the lift, WHERE IS MY WALLET...ARGH!!! I was soo panicked and i called my maid..Cik Rohaya called Cik Ismail. Thank god my wallet was in his car..phew.. GIMME PANICKED FOR THAT MOMENT....hehe

The lessson began...Like normal, i taught nurish on piano and boy kacau-ing us..grr..
Nureel made me cupcakes...aww..yumyumyum...Love the smiley-face cupcakes..hehe..I continued teaching nurish...then...HER DAD BOUGHT PIZZA...yummy...I ate together with Cik Rohaya, Nureel, Boy and Nurish....and we spent our sweet time together with jokes and laughters...hehehehehehehhahahahahahaahahah

Then I taught Nureel chemistry as she was very weak in it. I taught her periodic table. Glad that she can understand her basic. Then spent time wif boy and nurish. Nurish so funny now i knoe her....haha..love u nurish..Lastly, mashed potato CIK ROHAYA..YUMMIES TO THE CORE...I mixed with chilli sauce..yummy....

Ok ok..enough talk about her family..Now let me talk about II. I MISSED HER...HUHU...WISHED U WERE HERE MISS II...She got camp and i support her becoz music is my life. hehe. I talked On the phone with her. AWWWW, the way she spoke brightened up my night. AWW...SO sweet voice of her. Hm, we laughed and tease with each other and well....deny things but we cant lie to our own heart....Her favourite words...NO, WATEVER, KATAK, MONYET, and many more but i dun wanna list. Talk and talk and talk till abt 3 am. My aunt asked me to eat with her. Then sadly i must follow what she said. Then i keep on talking to myself.. 5 more mins..5 more mins..5 more mins till she finished her food..hehe but i still must eat my food as she had prepared for me....

My heart lies in dull when im all alone
My heart brighten and shines when talking to you on the phone
My mind start to wonder where are you
My mind start to say......I MISS YOU


II.....TT cant wait to see you..............................

My msn got virus!!! FUCK YOU STUPID VIRUS!!! Why am I soo stupid to get cheated by her!!! As in not her but her virus...I clicked the link and all the shit happened... Just one word to say...FUCK =)

The virus were spreading fast! KHIN MAY...UR BROTHER IS VERY SORRIE FOR THE VIRUS... HUHUHU....

I was down...I was really disappointed with the stupidity of me. Then I ignored the fucking idiotic virus and chat with her...Argh!!! AUTO-SIGN OUT...She called my hp and she cried... I confront her but no point because i myself need to face the SHIT...Then, i told my kak about it. Hopefully she helped me but she made thing worst. She gonna tell my mum and scolded me with all such u-know-what languages...Ah...sad life...

At night II messaged me and give me hope and strength when Im down. I refused to listen to heart as my heart was hurt by that fucking shit. Then, I broke down and cried and so did she. My heart was cold and dominant to refuse listening to her words, full of courage, hopes and strengths. In the end, we ended our day by texting bye to each other. She slept as her heart lies in sorrow but i cant. My mind was in every directions. My heart was shattered every moment. I could not sleep.

As time passed by, her words touched my heart and cure it slowly. I realised I was at wrong. She was right afterall. Then, i smiled because i just cried for something that is not worth it to cry for..SILLY ME...HEHE... I listed to her lullaby to accompany me and put me to sleep throughout the whole night that was full of tragedy. I messaged her IM SORRIE. YOU ARE RIGHT

Later morning we were back to normal...=)... Everyone makes mistakes because no one is perfect. She forgave me...In fact, by quarreling with one another make the relationship closer =) And tomorrow im gonna meet my best buddie...HAFIZ to help me get rid of all the FUCKERS in my lappy and my msn...Can wait for tomorrow...

II..Happy camping..The moon shall be me and the stars shall be u..

His heart was beating fast in bus 28...His mind was wondering far...Wat will happen later? What will happen later? Wat will happen later? As the bus reached the bus-stopped, he say a little prayers in his small heart that everything will go fine.. He tapped his ezlink card and got down from that bus. As he was walking to the traffic light, thousands of negative thoughts and questions appeared from his mind, heart, soul and every part of him...Wat and how will Cik Rohaya and Cik Ismail reactions when they saw him...As he was crossing the road, a boy in red shirt with his bicycle was sighted. That must be his dear junior to lead him the way of his house. His heart wisphered to him...Relax, calm down. Nothing to be afraid of. I never commit and mistakes to them so nothing to be afraid of.. As he entered the lift with his junior, his heart beat began to be slower and he was silenced in prayers. He pressed 2 and the lift door closed slowly...

Ting Tong!!! The door opened slowly...He started walking slowly...Assalamua'laikum he greeted her mother and salam her...Waa'laikumsalam, her mum replied. As he entered her house, he greeted and salam her dad. He sat on the chair calmly. He prayed in every seconds that passed.Every moment was precious to him to start any conversation to her parents. DUK DUK...DUK DUK....his heart beat was beating fast. Then, her sweet mum offered him with a fruit punch drink. He drank it slowly to cool down his heart and soul. Jokes and initiative to know her parents came out from his mind through his mouth.Everything went fine. Then her dad left home for work. Selamat bertugas Cik Ismail, he said and smiled.

Without any hesitation, he saw her youngest sister, Adik Nurish. She's soo cute, sweet and adorable. That's his pianist student. He smiled and introduced himself to her. She just smiled with shyness on her face. As time passed by, he began to teach her the basic of piano. OMG!!! She's a fast learner!!! GOSH!!! She make him smiled in million ways. He continued teaching. Not to forget...her mum provided him with food...MEE GORENG...HIS FAVOURITE NOODLES!!! WOOHOO...hehe...and wat a big PRAWNS...yumyum..so delicious. Then she took initiative to top up the drink in his cup...AWAK NI BUAT SUSAH AJE...he said and her replied...TAKPE
....Aww...time paused and she just touched his heart that moment...making his heart smiles in millon of ways...

YA ALLAH!!! SOLAT ASAR!!! He just remembered. He ask her mum's permission to cleanse himself in the toilet. Then, he walked calmly to where his instructed to.
He prayed...Ya Allah Ya tahunku, ku mohon padamu. Kabulkanlah doa-doaku di rumah tuannya sendiri. Amin ya robbal a'lamin. Then, he walked out of the room and continued teaching his student.

As the $2.90 watch from his left hand showed the time, 7.00, he decided to end his 1st piano lesson with his adorable student. Before he left her house, he talked to her mum and herself. Thank god everything went fine according to the flow. His time was filled with smiles, jokes and laughters, and he could get along with her mum and her. =) Before he left her house, he greeted her mum and her. He smiled and felt very glad to know HER HAPPY FAMILY

Her heart was hurt by someone yesterday...I shall not mentioned who...I cant believe that someone dare to hurt heart...NO ONE SHALL HURT MY II Otherwise...Im gonna transform to the DEVIL OF ME which i believe once i transform, i wont change back...

Yesterday night, she messaged me with her shattered heart what happened. I was so angry to someone. She really wanna teach someone manners but i stopped her. This is because she will be the oil while someone is the flame. I am the water. II is yet to learn how to be water and Im gonna teach her. For your information, if someone hurt my feeling, I will still be water but THERE IS A LIMIT. I dun wan to transform to be devil as...Im worst much worst than someone...flame from hell is everywhere around me. Thats why it is very difficult to see me get angry and be a devil that is full of sin.

I replied her 'ignore someone please'. She replied 'if thats wat u say, i will follow'. Then, i put off her flames and fixed her shattered heart. Thanx god, she was back to normal. Phew, I am the water afterall. But when i changed to flame, no one dares to be the water to put off my flame and no one can.

Today, i got to see my FUTURE IN LAWS. They are Cik Rohaya and Cik Ismail. Thousands of emotions gathered around me but, no matter what...I shall win their heart especially Cik Rohaya. She is sooooooo sweet and carrying mother. Im very proud of her that she really DISCIPLINED all her children well as 1 of them entered JC. In fact, 2 of her children that i knew are soooo sweet and adorable. They really touched my heart...Love you BOTH..MUAX. Nervous,scared, happy,shy, funny, brave,embarrassed are the few emotions that gathered around me. Many more but i dun wanna waste my precious time to list them all.

Just now morning was a mystery to me. This is what happened. I was sleeping and snoring with my eyes closed (like duh), then my mum switched on the light and said 'Taufiq, jangan terlalu serious dengan your gf'. I was like...am I dreaming or was it a reality...Im still unsure...My mind was off to lalaland during that incident. Im still wondering is it true that my mum woke me up just to say that? If she said that, what she means and what she's trying to imply the meaning that lies in her heart to me? It is a mystery to me and Im gonna investigate that case. Was it my mum that said to me in this world of reality or is it an illusion or a dream of mine? U wanna help me? I dun mind =)

II....TT is worried about U...

Tidakku sangka, tidakku duga
Kisah cinta kita, tiada berbeza
Kenangan lalu, hanya masa silam
Engkau dan aku, senasib di suatu alam

Hidup segan, mati tak mahu
Kenangan pahit di suatu waktu

(chorus)Kau dan aku, lupakan cinta kita dahulu
Mengingati cinta dulu kita pun tak mampu
Derita, hanya tuhan saja yang tahu
Marilah kita buka cinta baru..Ohuuu...

Tiada guna, kita menangis
Cinta kita, telah dihiris
Saat ini aku merintis
Cintaku padamu yang romantis

Chorus

Composed on 17/2/10
Time: 5.28 pm

From TT to II

II....TT heart U...<3

I miss my little sister....Miss Khin May...hehe...Take care khin may..Stay healthy always..Take care of ur eyes...dun make me worry abt u..My dear junior and my sister....Wish to spend time and go out w u 1 fine day maybe after band ohkay :>

Jauh di mata, dekat di jiwa,itulah hembusanku
Wahai sayangku, kurindu padamu, kembalilah disisiku oh sayangku

(a)Bilaku lihat wajahmu, tangisan basahi pipiku
Cintaku cinta sejati, hanyalah untukmu

(chorus)Wahai kasihku, jangan tinggalkanku, engkaulah cinta sejati
Janji setia, di suatu masa, masih di dalam hati

Senyum ketawa, cahaya wajah, masihku ingati
Cinta kita, sepanjang masa, janganlah dilupai

repeat (a) and (chorus)

Oh sayangku..ohoho...masih di dalam hati...
Oh sayangku..ohu....yeah....kasihmu tiada ganti
Tiada ganti...

Composed on 06/2/10
Time: 7.32 pm
Title:Jangan Tinggalkanku

From TT to II

18 FEBRUARY....The day when my heart whispered to me to end my relation with Azira. I still remembered...I was studying maths..Integration and differentiation with other 2 friends of mine...Then i decided to take a 10 mins break. She dont care abt me animore like how she used to be...That day, I messaged her. 'CAN WE BE FRIENDS'. That sentence was very harshed and it was so heavy for me to tell her, in fact that sentence just killed me and her. Time paused for the moment Im waiting for her reply...Time, 5.38 pm and her replied 'Ermm Yea. Ok...' Without any last hope and last defence to save her love for me like what i have done and sacrified for her, she just vanished out of my life and left me alone in loneliness and hopeless...

I continued to study maths and I cant absorb a single thing..HOLY CRAP...But I forced myself to chiong all the way...till all of us were bored dead till 8.15 pm...Then we all slacked like zombies..3 hours later of what she replied,at 8.38 pm, I composed a lullaby for II. She was the one that cheered my life and give me strength that day..A lullaby I composed is full of sadness and happiness as it represent her heart and mine...



This precious lullaby of her is meant for her and no one else. Enjoy watching, my viewers. If u listen carefully, there are sad part and happy part.

II...This is for u and only

Today I get to knoe her for 1 month...Yesterdae night...I chat w her through msn...I told her abt my mum and my sis that they dun wan me to have gf...my mum is freaking jealous and she wan to get rid of any girls whom entered my life...my sis always finding ideas to burn my anger and to get rid of her..no matter wat..I WILL NEVER LEAVE HER... I'D RATHER BE DEAD....WHY No one can understand my love story!!!!...

As i was chatting with her...thousands of questions I hid from her becoz i dun have my own gut to hurt a girl's heart...Many obstacles are present to break us apart... NOOO...I WONT EVER LET ANYTHING BREAK US APART...becoz I HAD ENOUGH...SHIT.... I dun wan my fucking history to happen again...Tat my mum interfered and caused a heavy disaster that ruined my love with My 1st ex...SUHAILAH....i gotta admit i miss her eventhough i had forget her....She is the 1st girl that taught me the meaning of love and misses...yet she is the 1st girl that disappear in my life with full of sadness, tears and misses...all thanx to u-know-who....Im just a lonely guy that always fail in love..perhaps i dun even know what love mean...

I chatted wif her and i never smiled...in fact my heart was shouting for me to CRY...Nah....like i said..cry for something that is worth to cry for..am i rite?
She made me smile becoz i am very proud of her that she had learn to be patient esp with her sis..Nureel and all her enemies.... =)... We had a great time learning about our common criteria...we also wished the best thing happen...

Wat is the best thing that i mentioned? Imagine i get along with her family and they treat me as a part of their family...Then her family come over to my house to get along with my family and..spoof....we are honored to combine both our families and form a big happy family....I always pray and hope that this sweet imagination will become a reality one fine day....Insyallah...



Me and my lovely dad....at my neighbour's wedding ceremony...Selamat Pengantin Baru KAK MARIANA and UR BELOVED HUBBY.. :)...Her love story has just completed and a new family has just began....WHEN IS MY TURN =(... Perhaps i dun even have my turn =(

Zahir dan batinku terseksa,
tiada siapa yang mengertinya,
hanya perasaan cemburu yang hadir dalam hatinya,
apakah silapku?
apakah dosaku?
rasa kecewa dalam cinta telah menjadi kawanku,
rasa sunyi nan sepi telah menjadi hidupku,
aku tidak mampu untuk kehilangan kasih sayangku lagi,
kanku menahan airmataku yang membasahi pipi dan bumi,
kan ku renung gambar wajah mu,
yang menemani dan menyinari sanubari ku,
kini aku dalam kesempitan,
hatiku dalam kesakitan,
Ku harap kau menjadi penawarku,
ku harap kau menjadi hidupku,
tanpa ku sedari,
airmataku mengalir di pipi,
kanku berdoa kepada illahi hidupmu untuk bersamaku,
semoga yang maha kuasa kabulkan doa hajatku....amin ya robbal a'lamin

II.....PLEASE DUN LEAVE ME...PLEASE DUN LEAVE ME...PLEASE DUN LEAVE ME...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... :(

II.....TT NEED U... =(

Today i followed my mum go pasar buy sotong kering (dried cuttlefish)...wohoo...and tmr she promise me she wanna cook sambal tumis sotong..MY FAVOURITE DISH...YAHOO..Im kind of tired todae...haiyo...hehe

Yesterday, II accompany me while waiting for my father to come home..I still remembered the time, 4.15 am....I told her that 5 precious pages in my heart were missing in my heart..at first its four...then i put all hopes to Azira to find all the 4 pages... But, she just tore another precious pages of mine...My heart lies in sad and sorrowness... =( From four, now it add to 5....no one can read my heart since then. I hope there wont be the 6th torn and missing pages....II told me that she will find all the 5 precious pages of mine and no matter how long it takes, she will not give up and do it...Like how i untangled her heart...I really need her and she really need me....In fact, she just managed to read the few introduction pages of my heart. And i am glad =) ...With my prayers, I hope god answer my call. I pray every moment when i feel lonely that she is the one that will find all my missing precious pages. She is the one that really take care of my heart and flip all the pages slow and gently so it wont get torn and not even a slight damage. She is the one that cure my poisoned heart and she is the one and only for the presence of me...

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II.....TT miss u...

Hello blog...I am sooo sorrie i have ignored u for almost 9 months....Please forgive me....PLEASE..
From now onwards....i shall call u II....okay...So..i missed II...Now i am in poly 2nd year..YAHOO
Hm.....okay okay...about relationship....hmm...SOBS...I and AZIRA are done....HUHUHU....erm...
I really hope she will realise how important a boyfriend is to her and i really hope she find her true guy...NOT ME.....However.....I STILL MISS HER.....huhuhu......OK OK enuf talk abt her...

For now...Someone just enterd my life...Who are they? Hm....They are CIK ROHAYA AND HER FAMILY....she has 3 very sweet daughters like her and a boy whom i called ipin....haha.... I gotta see her family tis tuesday....hehehe.....and.....i have make a new friend, in fact special friend, yet i need time to treasure and know her. Who is she? Okay..she is Ris Nurul Iszryanty. She is the eldest daughter of the family. Hm...she looks and remind me of my 2nd x....but she is much much better, and sweeter and bitter indeed. Hmm...on tuesdae, i gotta teach the youngest daughter named Ris Nurish Iszryfinna....hehehe....she got talent in music. So...as an ex-section leader, i must ensure that she will be a great musician just like me....including mr ipin and iszryanty...hehe